There are many reasons why setting up a family charter makes sense for your family, but a focus should be to clearly articulate guidelines for the future transfer of wealth while reducing internal family conflict. Communication, Communication, Communication. The process is key in formulating the document. No one size fits all, so breaking the topics into chunks to tackle in family meetings by order of importance is more manageable. Don’t try to take an off-the-shelf approach to develop charters or ones that lawyers create. However, a final review by a lawyer might be beneficial. The development of the charter needs to engage the rising generation since they will be the ones impacted by the document. Here is an outline of things to consider.

Soon after my husband bought his company, our family decided to form a family council. The purpose of the council is to educate and facilitate communication between family members and provide a forum for constructive discussion, problem-solving, and decisions about the family as it relates to the business and the family. After several successfully facilitated meetings by our advisor, we decided to organize the meetings independently. Establishing the agenda, arranging the location, and gathering other pertinent information went smoothly. However, the conference itself stumbled since some members interrupted or diverted from the topic at hand. After an abrupt end to a Thanksgiving meeting, the family members complained separately to me about the unorganized discussions. The family needed to step back to evaluate the situation to continue family harmony during the meetings. Instead of blaming each other, we decided to be proactive by taking an individual assessment test, the DISC, to learn how to work more effectively together.

Growing up in a poor suburb of Chicago, I attended a Catholic school with a requirement to wear a uniform. One day a month, to get the uniforms clean, we could wear a nice dress, pants not being an option. The other girls had beautiful fancy dresses from Marshall Fields while I wore handmade boxy shift type dresses. When I asked my parents for the latest store-bought fashion, they refused since they could not afford frivolous purchases raising five daughters. While I was whining about not getting store-bought clothes, my dad would say, "Life is not fair," in response to my complaints. But aren’t we taught the importance of being fair and equal?

When my husband first bought his engineering company, our three boys had no interest in being part of the organization. Only one was studying engineering, but he never aspired to go into business with dad. The other two also had different thoughts on their career trajectory. Although annually we set our goals for the next one to ten years, time and time again in everyone’s carefully laid out life plan, nobody described any role for being part of the family business. My husband continually pointed out the oversight, but I wondered how could we encourage family members to get involved with the family business?

When thinking of inheritance, typically the thought revolves around money or possessions. Designing a successful wealth transfer tends to be the conversation with financial advisors. Insurance companies might ask about high worth assets to provide adequate coverage for posterity. But if you want to transfer values and a shared sense of purpose to future generations, you need to design a legacy plan which would consist of a Vision-Mission-Core Values statement, traditions, family education, and a collection of stories.

From our first family council meeting, we encouraged our boys to ask the tough questions. How much do you make? How much is the company worth? What will I inherit? These were all questions we thought they would ask. However, the most important question on their mind was…if something happened to dad, who would run the company? No longer were we having adult to child conversations, rather an adult to adult relationship was beginning to develop.

At 17 years old, you don’t know your life’s purpose much less where you want to go to college or what to study. Growing up in Chicago, I was surrounded by top universities. What prompted me to go to college in small town Minnesota baffles me to this day. I don’t like cold and a small town at that time wasn’t for me. Although it was a good experience and met life long friends, I wanted a city life where there was action.

My parents prompted a change to transfer to Georgia Tech in downtown Atlanta to study engineering. The coordinator for new students gave the age old speech, “look to your left, look to your right, those faces will not be there after a year.” That proved to be a reality for my roommates. With the motto “To be the best,” on our door, I was determined not to be a statistic.

Growing up in Chicago I enjoyed the hustle and bustle of activity. The Sears Tower, Michigan Avenue and shopping at Marshal Fields were all part of my childhood. After meeting my husband in Atlanta, we bounced around the United States from NYC to Boston. We settled in a suburban town outside of Cincinnati to raise our children. An upper-class golf community where driving to the club via golf cart was the norm. I was selling luxury real estate in fancy dresses and heels, while my husband ran his engineering company donning his Robert Graham pressed shirts. We were living the dream.

Many people make New Year Resolutions, but break them within a few weeks or months. Those that have defined written goals, however, are proven to be more successful in obtaining those priorities. Achieving their dreams, no matter what obstacles thrown in their direction, is their way of reaching their full potential. They are living intentionally, but even the most disciplined were derailed in 2020 falling short of their objectives. Although it has become our family mantra to live intentionally, I began to ponder if it is possible to be too focused?

Tradition in our family is to celebrate major holidays together. Christmas we gather together in the morning with meaningful rituals. Beginning with opening our stockings stuffed with handy items like socks, toothpaste and the obligatory orange, we then move on to a full breakfast with French Toast Bake, sausage, eggs and fruit. After breakfast, the head of the house plays Santa, gifts are distributed and opened one by one. After a full morning, we dress for the holiday project which might be splitting wood, picking up liter or demolishing something. In the evening we proceed to a large gourmet dinner elaborately appointed with fine china, silver and crystal. Thanksgiving is similar minus the stockings and gifts. The fourth of July, however, is becoming the new gathering time with extended family. As we plan for this years 2020 celebration, we look to the past, present and future of the July 4th events.

I have always been a fan of history, however, with the current state of affairs, I started to contemplate how our core values may change through the times. After HBO Max decided to remove Gone With The Wind from their selections because they wanted to add “historical context”, my curiosity began. At first blush, I assumed a value is a value, but after some reflection, I concluded that the interpretation of that value can be a reflection of the changing times. Our family has determined our core values to be Family, Integrity, Knowledge and Perseverance. Let’s take a historical perspective on each one to see if they have evolved through the generations.

During the Pandemic of 2020, I first heard this quote, “Never let a good crisis go to waste” by Winston Churchill. But what exactly does that mean? Immediately referring to a dictionary, it revealed the definition of a crisis, a time when a difficult or important decision must be made. Synonyms included words such as crossroads, turning point, critical point and moment of truth. The statement, the moment of truth, took my breathe away. But the second part, waste, it is defined as an act or instance of using or expending something carelessly, extravagantly, or to no purpose. Antonyms include flourish, thrive and purpose. So my thoughts concluded, how do we use the Pandemic Crisis of 2020 as a moment of truth with a purpose in order to flourish and thrive? Change is never easy, but during a time of crisis, change is crucial if not mandatory. Life as we know it will never be the same after COVID-19. We casually talk about the new normal, but has that really been understood? As the moment of truth is being uncovered, what is really important to us? Health, Sustainability, Family, Legacy?

You didn’t plan for a pandemic? Wasn’t the last pandemic the Spanish flu in 1918, almost one hundred years ago? Actually that is not true; the Zika virus was more recent and still present today. Most of us remember the Swine Flu from 2010 or the Ebola outbreak. This one, however, is tanking the economy and forcing the governments to issue “stay-at-home” orders globally. But epidemics are not something new. There is even a prehistoric case from 5000 years ago. Archaeologists found remains of bodies stuffed in a house which was burned. A virus that spread so quickly they did not have time for a more appropriate burial. So why didn’t your family or business have a contingency plan for something that actually happens quite frequently? No, not a pandemic, a crisis.

In the midst of the Coronavirus (COVID-19), my husband and I attended a family business conference in Tampa. The virus hadn’t reached Florida until shortly after our arrival which generated alternate greetings, singing while washing hands and hand-sanitizer on every table. Not coincidentally Purell, a family business, was the sanitizer of choice. It isn’t uncommon to have an item from a fellow company adorn the table. In years past “Peeps” acted as the centerpiece the year it turned 50. But this year a utilitarian table favor seemed well suited for the event. While sitting in the main conference ballroom performing a Family Value’s exercise, I became curious about Purell’s story. What was their history, mission statement, core values and how are they managing through this crisis?

Congratulations, you have decided to form a Family Council, now what? Did the members get their position because they were family; they showed an interest; or were they selected based on predefined core competencies? Although you may now be second guessing your choices, I can tell you there is no right or wrong answer. In our case we only have first and second generation members because there isn’t anyone else. No spouses or significant others much less third generation kiddies. It didn’t, however, prevent us from determining what family council members core competencies should look like; what development activities should be considered in achieving the competencies; what on-boarding would look like for future members.

Although most family patriarch’s have wills and many have worked with a financial advisors or family offices on estate plans, a typical family doesn’t cultivate a strategic plan for future generations. Consider the statistic, 70% of all wealth transfers fail after one generation and 97% fail after three generations. That nest egg you built over your life, no matter how big or small, disappears shortly after you do. Historically 86% of families consider it more important to leave values and life lessons as inheritance. Unfortunately, financial advisors don’t ordinarily touch on non-financial legacy. For those who have a plan, 90% believe it doesn’t deal with their goals, wants and objectives. But is it essential to have a strategic plan, how is one created and who do you turn to for advice?

Our family’s journey started five years ago when we bought Belle-Hampton Farm. We have since restored the Bank Barn, the Cottage, the General’s Store and now the Belle-Hampton House. All the structures are historic landmarks which takes time and thought to the planning the renovations. But did we actually restore the structures or renovate them? And why is it important to preserve the historic structures?