The Battle of Gettysburg is a significant event in the history of the United States, marking a turning point in the Civil War. The three-day engagement involved intense fighting and resulted in over 50,000 casualties, making it the bloodiest single battle of the conflict. The battle was fought in and around the town of Gettysburg, Pennsylvania, in July 1863, and it is remembered as a critical moment in the country's history. But the battle’s impact was especially detrimental to the Hoge family.

In 1863, James Fulton Hoge and his wife Eliza welcomed their ninth child, Beverly Lacy Hoge. However, the year also brought mixed blessings for the family. James and Eliza's oldest son, Andrew Johnston Hoge, enlisted in the Confederate Army in 1861 when he turned 18, thinking he was going out into the world for a great adventure.

Pruning a tree involves selectively removing branches or parts of the tree for various purposes, such as improving the tree's health. Sometimes, we need to prune our family tree for the same reason. No, I am not saying you need to cut off a family branch because of interpersonal conflicts that may arise. That is a topic for another time. It might be time to prune even if your tree has flourished for multiple generations. The question to ask yourself is, are you only a passenger on the family’s journey or the driver? Are you letting the rising generation take their wheel?

"Commencement" is a term used to describe the ceremony where students receive their academic degrees or diplomas, marking the beginning of their transition from students to graduates. However, my journey into the history and lives of the Hoge and Howe families began with my son's graduation from Virginia Tech.

Our son, Peyton, is a fourth-generation graduate of Virginia Tech. He could have been the fifth generation, but my husband and I went to Georgia Tech instead. But that is a story for another day.

The history of Belle-Hampton goes back to when William Hoge came to America in 1682 on the Caledonia. Although the farm's founding didn’t occur until James Mayo Hoge arrived in 1767, eighty-five years later, the family members' adventures have been recorded for their descendant's knowledge and enjoyment. But the stories are even more crucial than just information. It provides a connection to the ancestors and inspiration for the future. It offers children a sense of grounding. To know who you are and where you fit into the world, you must know where you came from. We decided to visually chronicle the Hoge Family Story to understand the pioneer's heroics' vastness. However, to capture over three hundred years became an enormous task. We needed to break it down into decades for a manageable and organized project to record historical events.

There are many reasons why setting up a family charter makes sense for your family, but a focus should be to clearly articulate guidelines for the future transfer of wealth while reducing internal family conflict. Communication, Communication, Communication. The process is key in formulating the document. No one size fits all, so breaking the topics into chunks to tackle in family meetings by order of importance is more manageable. Don’t try to take an off-the-shelf approach to develop charters or ones that lawyers create. However, a final review by a lawyer might be beneficial. The development of the charter needs to engage the rising generation since they will be the ones impacted by the document. Here is an outline of things to consider.

How do you give back? Last week, Brad Formsma spoke at the Southeast Family Office Forum (SEFOF). He is the author of the book I Like Giving. He gave us practical ideas on how to give. There are seven ways to live generously: Words, Thoughts, Influence, Time, Attention, Belonging, and Money. He asked how can we incorporate giving into everyday life and inspire others to do the same. Through his stories of “I like _____” he showed us examples of how to give.

As of March 2024, eighty percent of New Year’s Resolutions already failed. You will fall into those statistics if you are basing real change on a calendar date. A resolution, priority, or whatever you call your goal needs to have real meaning. It is the “why” that is important to the achievement. Although you might have a heartfelt commitment to change, here are some suggestions to increase the probability of success.

When you think of successful family enterprises, Ford Motors, Walmart, or Berkshire Hathaway might come to mind. If you think of family feuds, you might think of Kellogg's brotherly legal sparring or the Adidas-Puma war. Family disagreements might lead to legal trouble or hostile competition, but mainly they can cause long-term issues. It causes distrust and poor conflict resolution. And there will be conflict. However, conflict itself should be encouraged healthily and productively. If you define a conflict as a struggle or an opposition, you will have to find some way to resolve the conflict. Conflict comes from the Latin word for striking, but it shouldn't be violent. Conflict can arise from opposing ideas, leading to a positive outcome and progress.

A Life List, sometimes called a bucket list, is a set of priorities you want to achieve now, later, or long term. Having a meaning to your goals helps you define your purpose. Although you may have ranked your priorities in order of potential accomplishments, do you have a Life Guide: Vision, Mission, and Core Values statement? A written vision to assist in setting goals will bring you and your family’s best values to the table.

“It’s not hard to make decisions when you know your values.” – Roy Disney

One of the most enjoyable ways to examine a Life’s purpose is to create a Vision Statement that includes your mission and core values. Top executives, athletes, and thriving families find it the key to achieving their full potential. When phrased compellingly, it acts like a magnet, pulling your goals toward you and becoming your energy touchstone.

Do you know who you are? Sure, you have a name, but what about your personality, communication style or strengths? In the year 2000, my husband, Tom, and I needed to make a transition in employment and life goals. Our mentor started by giving us an assessment to discover our unique personalities. We took the Myers Briggs. When the results came in, they sheepishly came into our meeting to discuss the outcome.

Did you realize you both are not compatible, they blurted out. After being happily married for almost 15 years, we were shocked. What do you mean? Based on the result, Tom and I were opposites. But don’t opposites attract? Not according to the advisors. We have now been married for 36 years, and all of the tests we have taken over the years say the same thing. We are not well-suited for each other.

Calling all hobby genealogists, history-hungry researchers, and inquisitive collectors of family stories to discover more about preserving history...

After going down that rabbit hole of documentation leading to a morsel of insight into life a century ago, what next? If you are like me, you have accumulated facts and figures from countless hours online or at the local historical association. Whether you have organized notebooks or scraps of paper with your tidbits of family secrets, the next generation will lose the memories unless they are compiled and presented in an exciting and engaging format.

Becoming our authentic selves is work. We start as a perfect 10, but keeping our self-worth intact can be challenging in a family of wealth. When the wealth creator is larger than life, it becomes a daunting task to follow in those big shoes. Anything a person individually does may need to be improved. Ordinary is no longer acceptable. Self-esteem ticks downward when the bar is set too high to reach.

It isn’t about the money, but what is the money about? Ten of the wealthiest people in the world plan on leaving their fortune to charity. This now includes Jeff Bezos, founder of Amazon. Many of the wealthiest people have signed the Giving Pledge, promising to leave their fortunes to a philanthropic cause rather than to their heirs. Why?

For those who know me, I am always setting goals big and small then diligently trying to follow through to completion. I annoyingly write a daily “to-do” list with the idea I would move the flag toward my 1-year, 3-year, and 10-year goals. But the typical New Year’s Resolutions’ maker, according to the data, fails by the second weekend in January. In 2023 that would be January 14th. Now that we are entering 2024, how can we avoid the pitfalls of losing focus on what is really important to us to achieve?

The "shirtsleeves to shirtsleeves" saying is an all too common phenomenon.  Statistics show us that 70% of wealth transfers fail. It was very problematic in history, but even more of a concern with the anticipation of the Greatest Wealth Transfer in history soon arriving. But instead of focusing on the failures, how does the next generation succeed in this transfer?

When a family enterprise is created, it starts with the entrepreneurial founder (s) who have an idea and a vision. A small business evolved after hard work, sacrifice, and mistakes along the way. They invested and grew the company, leading to an established, structured entity. But businesses need to change over time to meet challenges, expand into new markets or products, seize new opportunities or make an existing product better, more relevant, or attractive for the prevailing market. How can prior generations instill the entrepreneurial spirit into the next generations? The answer is an intentional plan to develop the upcoming leaders, an educational strategy.

Have you made your resolutions for 2024? Did you know, by definition, that a resolution is a firm decision to do or not to do something? Some common resolutions are to exercise more, lose weight, get organized, learn a new skill or hobby, save more money, or quit smoking. But how many people give up on their resolutions only after one month? The number is 43%, which doesn’t sound very resolute. One of the reasons for letting go of a resolution is that it isn’t a priority.

Do you have a life list? Sometimes it is called a bucket list after the movie with the same name. The definition is a compilation of priorities for you and your family for one year, three years, ten years, or more. As we prepare this December for New Year's resolutions, let us plan to increase the probability of success. Most resolutions fail by the end of January. However, according to research in the book Creating Your Best Life, accomplishments in your life strongly relate to how happy you are in life. Those without a priority list are not only less happy; they accomplish less than people who have written goals. Even with the high failure rate, the fact that the plans are written down increases the likelihood of moving the flag forward.

Do you ever feel that everything is going so well, but you are waiting for that other shoe to drop, that ominous feeling things are too good? This morning I heard a loud bang on our glass door. Since we live out in the country, I knew it wasn’t someone knocking hard. Although I initially dismissed it, our dog did not. He found the remnants of a dead bird lying on our porch. Generally, a dead bird is a bad omen that someone is about to die or something in your life will end. It is human nature to think the worse, but why not celebrate success instead of waiting for doom and gloom? Yes, there will be setbacks, the other shoe dropping or a bird, but celebrating along the way will give you the resilience to achieve your life goals so you can live up to your full potential.

Schooling is only part of having a growth mindset.  If you have a degree but didn't learn anything, you aren't growing.  I know young adults who spent 5, 6, or 7 years getting a piece of paper only to be left unemployable and in debt.  Growing in knowledge is the objective.  Knowledge incorporates skill, understanding, and acumen.  It comes from learning and experiencing inside and outside a formal environment.  Recognize that the core values of resilience, persistence, and making mistakes are part of gaining knowledge.  Creating a growth mindset in your family must begin with a plan.