The Reynolds family is well-known for their contribution to the American tobacco industry. They are a classic example of how a family can rise to affluence and fall in three generations. The success of the R.J. Reynolds Tobacco Company is linked to their story, providing insight into the immense wealth that the tobacco market could generate. However, as their fortune grew, their private and public lives became more complex. The concept of the Gilded Leaf represents the opulence of their lifestyle and the hidden challenges beneath the surface. This blog delves into the Reynolds family's vast economic wealth and the profound personal and family tragedies that their wealth caused.

Pruning a tree involves selectively removing branches or parts of the tree for various purposes, such as improving the tree's health. Sometimes, we need to prune our family tree for the same reason. No, I am not saying you need to cut off a family branch because of interpersonal conflicts that may arise. That is a topic for another time. It might be time to prune even if your tree has flourished for multiple generations. The question to ask yourself is, are you only a passenger on the family’s journey or the driver? Are you letting the rising generation take their wheel?

"Commencement" is a term used to describe the ceremony where students receive their academic degrees or diplomas, marking the beginning of their transition from students to graduates. However, my journey into the history and lives of the Hoge and Howe families began with my son's graduation from Virginia Tech.

Our son, Peyton, is a fourth-generation graduate of Virginia Tech. He could have been the fifth generation, but my husband and I went to Georgia Tech instead. But that is a story for another day.

How do you give back? Last week, Brad Formsma spoke at the Southeast Family Office Forum (SEFOF). He is the author of the book I Like Giving. He gave us practical ideas on how to give. There are seven ways to live generously: Words, Thoughts, Influence, Time, Attention, Belonging, and Money. He asked how can we incorporate giving into everyday life and inspire others to do the same. Through his stories of “I like _____” he showed us examples of how to give.

The "shirtsleeves to shirtsleeves" saying is an all too common phenomenon.  Statistics show us that 70% of wealth transfers fail. It was very problematic in history, but even more of a concern with the anticipation of the Greatest Wealth Transfer in history soon arriving. But instead of focusing on the failures, how does the next generation succeed in this transfer?

Have you made your resolutions for 2024? Did you know, by definition, that a resolution is a firm decision to do or not to do something? Some common resolutions are to exercise more, lose weight, get organized, learn a new skill or hobby, save more money, or quit smoking. But how many people give up on their resolutions only after one month? The number is 43%, which doesn’t sound very resolute. One of the reasons for letting go of a resolution is that it isn’t a priority.

Do you ever feel that everything is going so well, but you are waiting for that other shoe to drop, that ominous feeling things are too good? This morning I heard a loud bang on our glass door. Since we live out in the country, I knew it wasn’t someone knocking hard. Although I initially dismissed it, our dog did not. He found the remnants of a dead bird lying on our porch. Generally, a dead bird is a bad omen that someone is about to die or something in your life will end. It is human nature to think the worse, but why not celebrate success instead of waiting for doom and gloom? Yes, there will be setbacks, the other shoe dropping or a bird, but celebrating along the way will give you the resilience to achieve your life goals so you can live up to your full potential.

Schooling is only part of having a growth mindset.  If you have a degree but didn't learn anything, you aren't growing.  I know young adults who spent 5, 6, or 7 years getting a piece of paper only to be left unemployable and in debt.  Growing in knowledge is the objective.  Knowledge incorporates skill, understanding, and acumen.  It comes from learning and experiencing inside and outside a formal environment.  Recognize that the core values of resilience, persistence, and making mistakes are part of gaining knowledge.  Creating a growth mindset in your family must begin with a plan.

To break the cycle of "Shirt Sleeves to Shirt Sleeves" in three generations, as discussed in a previous blog, family businesses and those wanting to pass along wealth must stop the current way of managing money.  A 70% failure rate in a successful transfer of wealth is not good odds.  Financial planning should not begin with wealth advisors but with a family bank structure.

Like a family's balance sheet, life presents us with various forms of capital (intellectual, social, human, spiritual) and liabilities (death, illness, black swan events, or financial change).  Just as financial statements include assets and debts, our lives are composed of moments that encompass tragedies and joys. These contrasting elements, like different forms of capital and liabilities, shape the overall picture of our journey. We find richness and depth in the delicate balance between these experiences. This is Beverly Lacy Hoge’s story behind his purpose.

Soon after my husband bought his company, our family decided to form a family council. The purpose of the council is to educate and facilitate communication between family members and provide a forum for constructive discussion, problem-solving, and decisions about the family as it relates to the business and the family. After several successfully facilitated meetings by our advisor, we decided to organize the meetings independently. Establishing the agenda, arranging the location, and gathering other pertinent information went smoothly. However, the conference itself stumbled since some members interrupted or diverted from the topic at hand. After an abrupt end to a Thanksgiving meeting, the family members complained separately to me about the unorganized discussions. The family needed to step back to evaluate the situation to continue family harmony during the meetings. Instead of blaming each other, we decided to be proactive by taking an individual assessment test, the DISC, to learn how to work more effectively together.

On March 11, 2020, WHO officially labeled COVID-19 a pandemic. After nine months of social distancing and safer at home orders, most us have had enough of this doom and gloom year. We are gleeful and hopeful for 2021 to bring back some normalcy. As we plan our New Year’s resolutions, we re-consider what is important to us. If the challenges we faced in the pandemic of 2020 are having you reflect on your desire to make a difference in the world, rest assured there are many ways to fulfill this goal. Start with small ways that can make a big difference, continue with a plan of “doing no harm,” and strive to achieve making a real impact.

My dirty little secret is that I am a book hoarder. Amazon is my go-to place for impulsive orders to collect literature. Every Saturday, we receive the Wall Street Journal which lists the top books by fiction, non-fiction, and business. Systematically I go through the list to investigate the topics which might be of interest. Although I lean toward non-fiction, The Traveler’s Gift and Where the Crawdads Sing are amongst my favorite in the fiction category. Completely out of my typical genre is The Name of the Wind, recommended by my son, which turned out to be thoroughly captivating. My sister also wrote a book, The Scent of Death, historical fiction, which I couldn’t put down and read in one sitting. Without going into details about fictional best sellers, I will focus my recommendations by subject to include business books, family business books, books teaching values and books created by a family member.

Reminiscing holiday traditions growing up, I think of blessing Easter Baskets, celebrating Christmas Eve at my Bushi’s (Polish grandma) house and enjoying Thanksgiving at my Aunt and Uncle’s. Getting dressed up with black freshly polished patent leather shoes and an Easter bonnet which were all lined up the night before brings back the joyful smells of the day. Since I was the youngest, our large Thanksgiving dinner at my Aunt and Uncle’s had me relegated to the “children’s table” which I never graduated from even in college. In my Bushi’s tiny basement, my dad’s enormous family were cozily scrunched together on folding tables and chairs with a large buffet of Polish delicacies. In hindsight, many of the traditions brought both joy and heartache. Trying to develop traditions that are unifying is an objective for any family, but sometimes unintentional pain is inflicted on a member. How do you avoid the hurt feelings associated with the holiday traditions?

After being restricted from travel with the COVID-19 pandemic, I found myself dreaming about our next adventure. My husband and I already traveled to the Galapagos, Africa, and Scotland from our bucket list, but we want to choose carefully for the next trip. Taking in considerations on safety of course, we want to have a purposeful one beyond just a list. The outline for the experiences concluded with finding a place that evokes joy, learning about something, creating a legacy excursion and a memorializing tribute.

When thinking of inheritance, typically the thought revolves around money or possessions. Designing a successful wealth transfer tends to be the conversation with financial advisors. Insurance companies might ask about high worth assets to provide adequate coverage for posterity. But if you want to transfer values and a shared sense of purpose to future generations, you need to design a legacy plan which would consist of a Vision-Mission-Core Values statement, traditions, family education, and a collection of stories.

Significant changes happened over the years with the customer-bank relationships. The initial banking system developed by Alexander Hamilton had the purpose of paying for the Revolutionary war. By 1836, however, banks were motivated to get people’s money out of their mattress and introduced their version of a checking account. Although this system was proven to be a disaster with various “runs” on the bank over the years, it was the banks risky behavior leading to the crash of 1929 that cemented the mistrust of financial institutions. Once the government issued the FDIC (Federal Deposit Insurance Corporation), the consumer slowly became more confident in using banks to safeguard their money. Today with a declining 60% of their current patrons depending on banks as a primary financial institution, banks need to enhance customer understanding, innovate the customer experience and to build customer trust to keep competitive in today’s market.

Life is hectic with day to day activity distracting families from their business educational goals. The ability to organize and schedule a family celebration or family council meeting is only part of the challenge on the road to educational awareness and proficiency. Determining what areas need further development is a continuous process which needs monitoring for continuous improvement. With the objective of having your business family knowledgeable in a variety are areas such as governance, finance and history, how do you seamlessly continue to evolve from year to year, generation to generation?

Although I might be biased as a nature lover, mockingbirds are fascinating creatures. These birds cause no pain to anyone or anything—they just sing, continuously. Chosen as a book title, To Kill a Mockingbird by Harper Lee, the bird is a figurative representation of the loss of innocence. Quoting from the book, “Mockingbirds don’t do one thing but . . . sing their hearts out for us. That’s why it’s a sin to kill a mockingbird.”  The overall theme in To Kill a Mockingbird is that every human being deserves to be treated with dignity. What a wonderful message for today’s world, everyone deserves dignity.

Social Distancing, Coronavirus, Quarantined are all things we have become too familiar with these last couple of weeks. Businesses and schools are closed, hospitals are overburdened, and we are struggling to find a new normal. We are scrubbing our hands, keeping six feet apart in groups of ten or less all in an effort to “flatten” the statistical curve of the virus. We have become a society of hoarders by clearing out grocery shelves of paper towels, cleaning products, toilet paper and the elusive hand sanitizer. People are binge watching movies, old TV shows or obsessively watching the latest news since we are being told to be a couch potato. Someone sneezing in a public place is as frightening as a person with leprosy. To combat our worst fears, the human spirit is discovering creative ways to entertain themselves. Teddy bear hunts are being developed and song parodies are going viral on social media. Although some have extra time on their hands, others need to adapt to their working environment in the confines of their abode. Some even have to juggle the additional chore of homeschooling. But through this confusion, a question occurred to me. While everyone is working from home and if this is our new normal, how can we keep our family bond if we aren’t physically together? At this moment during the Pandemic of 2020, can technology be an effective tool to keep your family productive, connected and informed?