How Do You Transfer Values Across Generations?
When thinking of inheritance, typically the thought revolves around money or possessions. Designing a successful wealth transfer tends to be the conversation with financial advisors. Insurance companies might ask about high worth assets to provide adequate coverage for posterity. But if you want to transfer values and a shared sense of purpose to future generations, you need to design a legacy plan which would consist of a Vision-Mission-Core Values statement, traditions, family education, and a collection of stories.
To begin developing a Vision-Mission-Core Values statement, start by answering some of the following questions. What would you like people to say about your family in 30 years? What would you want your family to achieve? What do you need to do to attain the vision? What does your family stand for such as knowledge, integrity or spirituality? This is not a one and done discussion, but rather an iterative process where each word is scrutinized. To make a meaningful statement, make sure it is collaborative with all the family members.
Using family traditions as a means to share your values with the rising generation can be impactful. Opening pajamas on Christmas Eve to show our bonds and inclusiveness is one idea. Setting a place at Thanksgiving for a missing family member that passed away that year is a tribute to the importance of family. Cutting the wedding cake with a silver cake knife from a great grandparent symbolizes the significance of love and marriage. If you don’t have a meaningful tradition, start one of your own. It is never too late for a purposeful tradition to reflect what is important in life.
Family education can be shared in many forms depending on the values the family wants to pass down. An informal education, starting young, could be in reading books reflecting the traits that are important. One of my favorites is Oh, The Places You’ll Go by Dr. Seuss which teaches perseverance among other lessons. To teach young children about wealth, read The Louse in the House by Paige Cornetet. But a more formal education could include the requirement to take business classes along with the major of choice. My parents always insisted on having us take some business courses even if we were majoring in engineering, chemistry or communications. There are also programs at places like the Goering Center which offers Next Gen and Leadership Institutes for business families among other educational forums.
With all of the options to transfer values, my favorite is collecting and sharing the family stories. Retelling the experiences of WWII, the hardships of The Great Depression or the journey to the new world are the most impactful. My father describing his visit to Switzerland after serving in WWII reflected his sense of adventure in travelling which he instilled in his daughters. But even the smaller events that shaped someone’s life should be documented and shared. What was your first job? How did you meet your spouse? Why did you choose your college and major? All these questions are important to record for the next generation to help them connect to their history, develop context and form an identity.
If the focus of your attention is the transfer of wealth, the opportunity will be missed to share your vision for the family. Stories of how money destroyed families such as the Vanderbilts, Rockefellers or the Reynolds are described in numerous biographies. After reading several books about these families such as A Well-Behaved Woman by Deckle Edge who reveals the dark side of the Vanderbilt family, the importance of passing along more than just money becomes clear. Instilling a shared purpose and core values should be a higher priority than assets. What are your family’s values? How do you plan on passing them along to your children and grand-children?
FREE eBook: Vision-Mission-Core-Values-Statement
