To break the cycle of "Shirt Sleeves to Shirt Sleeves" in three generations, as discussed in a previous blog, family businesses and those wanting to pass along wealth must stop the current way of managing money.  A 70% failure rate in a successful transfer of wealth is not good odds.  Financial planning should not begin with wealth advisors but with a family bank structure.

As dawn broke on August 28, 1884, Governor Tyler rejoiced in having another daughter. His prayers were answered after the scary experience of almost losing his other baby girl, Eliza, to illness. He thanked God for his renewed feeling of goodness and mercy and named this precious bundle Eleanor Howe Tyler after her great-grandmother.

After reading a chapter from Caroline Coleman Bailey's book, "Rooted in Family," I contemplated her chapter, which discussed working for their family business. As a third-generation Gallo family member, Caroline broke away from the family business after an eighteen-year successful career. She decided to find her path in life. But what did that mean?

The chapter's name, a metaphor, “under the shade of the family tree,” struck me as profound. To me, family means everything. A tree gives one root. The older the family, the stronger the tree's roots. We have a black walnut tree outside of our family house, Belle-Hampton, probably over 250 years old. Just like our family history, it is solid and majestic but needs to be nourished and protected to continue to grow. However, an individual branch can be propagated from the long-established shrub.

Like a family's balance sheet, life presents us with various forms of capital (intellectual, social, human, spiritual) and liabilities (death, illness, black swan events, or financial change).  Just as financial statements include assets and debts, our lives are composed of moments that encompass tragedies and joys. These contrasting elements, like different forms of capital and liabilities, shape the overall picture of our journey. We find richness and depth in the delicate balance between these experiences. This is Beverly Lacy Hoge’s story behind his purpose.

My passion is hardcover, paperback, audiobooks, Kindle, and new and old books. Books open up the world of knowledge. Books on Family Businesses specifically create an opportunity to learn and enhance the family enterprise and gain what is called Intellectual Capital. Governance, Family Council, Philanthropy, Succession, and NextGen are topics in my extensive library. Learn real stories and life lessons with autobiographies and biographies. Historic books give perspective on life during those times. Here are some of my top recommendations. 

Those majestic trees that have been around for 140-160 years during historical events are called "witness trees." To qualify for the official naming and protection, they must be on former battlegrounds. Although there may have been family "battles" on our property, Belle-Hampton, we have a black walnut tree estimated to be about 200 years old. It had witnessed family events since 1826, when the Main House was first established. As owners, we are the 7th generation raising cattle on the property. The tree has seen the earlier proprietors' births, weddings, and deaths—all of the family celebrations and the workings of the family business. As we construct our 250-year plan, we first look to the witness tree for perspective.

Individuation is a term coined by Carl Jung, a Swiss psychologist, defined as a process of psychological integration. According to Wikipedia, Individuation is a process of transforming the personal and collective unconscious and bringing it into consciousness using dreams, active imagination, or free association to be assimilated into a person’s whole personality. What does Individuation mean for the rising generation?

When I was entering college and deciding on a major, I received guidance from my dad that I should always include business lessons no matter what I choose.  Great advice for any young adult, but especially true if they are part of a family business or stewards of family wealth.  As we sat down with our children during a family council meeting, some members realized their shortcomings of lacking knowledge about balance sheets and cash flow statements.  What should the education criteria be for family members responsible for managing family wealth in the future?

Growing up in a family business is a beneficial educational experience for any young child family member if done well.  Exposure to day-to-day interworking and challenges that family firms face gives children a perspective their peers may never see. When I was in kindergarten, I learned math basics on a cash register in my family’s small business, Ratajacks.  Although I could barely see over the counter, I worked side by side with my mom, who taught me the art of customer service while building family relationships.  Being exposed to mounds of cash taught me the value of trustworthiness.  But not all family businesses operate smoothly.  Some family businesses become intertwined in family turmoil, as depicted in the movie Boss Baby: Family Business.  How do you prepare a family business's heirs to function successfully over time while maintaining family harmony?

Growing up just north of Chicago in a small Polish-Irish community, our family of five girls regularly got together with our aunts, uncles, and cousins. Our grandparents were regular babysitters conveniently located an easy one-block walk from home. Being raised in a family business, we worked and played together. Our closest friends and confidants were all related. Growing up in a close-knit family, we were sheltered from the current mosaic of extended family. We did not hear about divorce, stepchildren, significant others who were not married, or adoptions. The “Leave it to Beaver” family unit was the norm until now. In our current eclectic environment, how do you define family?

When planning for future endeavors, you first have to know yourself and where you are in life in order to see what is next. What are your strengths and your skills? What makes you unique? How do you think others see you? A simple exercise is to text 3-5 people and ask them to send you a few words they feel best to describe you. Explain to them you are creating your vision and need to get an accurate assessment of yourself. Once you have received the adjectives, take a blank sheet of paper and write a description of yourself.

While dogs are frequently considered pets, their significance and contributions extend beyond this classification. Nettie was one of those special dogs we considered part of the family, our baby. From the first moment we met her, she captured our hearts. Nettie, short for Marie Antoinette, was a gentle, loving, and loyal black Labrador.

When we first got her, we still lived in a subdivision in Ohio. She went with me everywhere. She was by my side on trips to the local shops in Mason, walking on the bike trails, meeting clients, and going into the office to work. She was a bundle of love.

Rev. Moses Drury Hoge, DD, one of the soundest thinkers and most eloquent preachers of his day, rests among presidents and other leaders in the Hollywood cemetery in Richmond, VA. Situated on the James River, this cemetery is recognized as the most prominent burial place in Virginia. The President’s Circle is the final resting place for the 5th President of the United States, James Monroe, and the 10th President of the United States, John Tyler. Six Virginia governors, two Supreme Court justices, and other notables who have significantly influenced history rest in peace there. Rev. Hoge is amongst his fellow influential Virginians, celebrated as a great man of faith.

In 1917, America entered World War I. Robert Hoge was thirteen years old and craved adventure. He was too young to serve in the military but too bored with school to finish his high school education. He contemplated running away from home. As the son of a Baptist Minister, he needed a change from his town of Waycross, GA. His parents were strict but not cruel. All he remembered from this time was his resolve to break for freedom.

Integrity is a core value in the Hoge family. Down through history, it was a standard the Hoge’s held of themselves. It is currently defined by the family as, “We live by the Golden Rule, never compromising the truth. We communicate openly, and our actions are consistent with our words.” It wasn’t one that friends necessarily defined the same way.  What happens when a friend deceives a friend and/or spouse?

Women spies played a significant role in the American Civil War, both on the Union and Confederate sides. They gathered valuable intelligence by infiltrating enemy territory and obtaining information that could be used to gain strategic advantages on the battlefield. Many women used their gender to their advantage, as they were less likely to be suspected of espionage. But does deceiving friends to obtain information cross the line of Integrity?

Historically, having a designated meeting area dates to the Korean War with the “green table.” But it became a symbol during the Vietnam War as a place for negotiations between the US and North Vietnam. It was a table designated to find a peaceful resolution to the conflict.

Having a specified place or table to hold family meetings brings a sense of unity. These meetings are for more than just casual dinner conversations. It is a structured meeting to foster open communication among family members. It should be a safe place where everyone can say what they think and feel as they come together to make decisions and solve issues.

Moving into Walnut Spring with her brother Otey after her husband’s death in 1903, Lulu became the wage earner. Her position in 1905 was the Blacksburg, VA Postmaster. In 1910 she bought the Alexander Black House on the corner of Draper and Clay Street in downtown Blacksburg. She and the children moved there, but the young widow, only 31 years after her husband’s death, must have had difficulty raising six children. In 1915 she decided to get wed again to John James Davis, a professor who was 12 years younger.

Do you have famous friends? Having a renowned friend is rare and limited to a small percentage of the population. Since I cannot remember anyone’s name, even illustrious people, I am not the person to ask about famous friends. When people name-drop a personal pet peeve, I usually frustrate the person trying to impress me since I don’t know people.

John didn’t plan on scaring someone sober, but nevertheless, it happened. John Dunbar Howe owned a mercantile along Wilderness Road in Newburn. He offered a wide range of goods available for purchase, including staple food items such as milk and bread and various household goods such as hardware and other supplies.  For those not interested in shopping, John would also keep liquor on hand for those awaiting the wagon. In the early 1800s, the wagon was the stagecoach that delivered the latest news and letters from loved ones.

Near where a beautiful antebellum mansion once stood, cars blast by on a four-lane highway, not realizing abandoned gravestones are buried deep in the brush. Overgrown ivy, toppled down trees, and broken gravestones laid lost in the dirt, strangled by vines keeping them trapped deep beneath the earth. An occasional family member, curious about the historic stones, tries to locate them but typically gives up because of the lush overgrowth. On a fateful July 4, 2022, my husband, Tom, and our son, Peyton, and I are determined to resurrect the missing headstones. As an 8th-generation descendent from the Hoge family's arrival to Southwestern Virginia, Tom is relentless in cutting a path into the brush to begin our work. However, he secured the property owner's permission.