Scaring the Whiskey Out of You
John didn’t plan on scaring someone sober, but nevertheless, it happened. John Dunbar Howe owned a mercantile along Wilderness Road in Newburn. He offered a wide range of goods available for purchase, including staple food items such as milk and bread and various household goods such as hardware and other supplies. For those not interested in shopping, John would also keep liquor on hand for those awaiting the wagon. In the early 1800s, the wagon was the stagecoach that delivered the latest news and letters from loved ones.
For regulars, John kept a liquor stash readily available day or night. A man called Squire Jones would come with his empty bottle early every morning to get it filled with whiskey. But this late evening, long before dawn, John developed severe pain in his head. He concluded that he needed a cure.
It was late in the evening, on a dark, moonless night when ghosts walked the earth, and John’s head pounded. Before electricity and matches were an option, John felt his way to the store’s keg of pepper in the pitch-black store. Grabbing a handful, he pounded the peppercorns, mixed it with whiskey, and promptly rubbed it all over his face. This was a traditional old-time medicine recipe. Exhausted, he crawled back into bed, falling sound asleep.
Just before sunup, John heard a knocking on the door. Was the noise because his head was still pounding, or was a ghost coming to haunt him? Sleepily, he concluded it must have just been Squire Jones arriving early to fill his bottle. Slumber overtook his thoughts. But soon, a determined visitor began knocking again.
“Come in,” John said wearily from his bed. With a bottle in hand, Jones peaked around the door but promptly jumped back, proclaiming in shock, “Good God.” Now wide awake, John couldn’t understand what had caused his friend to run from the store quickly. And what triggered him to leave his empty bottle rolling on the floor from his sudden departure?
With the sun's light beaming through the windows now, Major John Dunbar Howe proceeded to get up and dressed. When he looked in the mirror, he stared at what looked to be a ghostly spirit. He saw the most awful-looking face that any poor mortal ever had. John’s face was covered with what was supposed to be pepper and whiskey but turned out to be a dark substance. He now realized that when he reached down in the dark to get pepper, he had missed the pepper keg and got a handful of indigo. Definitely a spooky sight.
His terrifying face scared the old Squire, making him run quickly away. Never again did Jones touch a drop of whiskey or any other liquor for the rest of his time on earth. Jones must have thought he had hit rock bottom, hallucinating about spirits. Although John didn’t intend to scare the whiskey out of Jones, the was pleased to free him from the confines of his addiction.
"Sobriety is not a limitation; it is a freedom." – Anonymous
Note: This is based on a tale passed down from Major John Dunbar Howe, who moved to Sunnyside, his family homestead, in Pulaski County, VA. See Sleeping in the Valley for more Howe and Hoge family information.
Major John Dunbar Howe, son of Major Daniel Howe
